A.) I think this essay rose to the top because it was the one that most described me and how i am an independent person most of the time. Also that i have many goals to reach and that is a huge part of my life.
B.) One thing that I thought that my essay did well and effectively was explain how many goals i set for myself and why they are important.
C.) One thing that I feel is a weekness in this paper that there might be some grammer issues and i may have repeated myself a few times.
D.) One question i would have is, does my essay let the reader know that i am dedicated to reaching my goals?
Sitting in the drivers seat, feeling drips of sweat slide down my forehead then finally it begins. Going around the rotary and gaining speed on the left turn until I have to quickly stop and show my skills of what I have learned. After about ten minutes we returned back into the parking lot and I finally got to hear the results. I finally managed to get my license. Over the past 17 years that I have lived, the biggest turning point in my life was definitely getting my license. That feeling of freedom and being able to go where I wanted and when I wanted was the best thing I had received in life.
Knowing that I am able to drive myself around places isn’t the only achievement I feel, but also there is the other part of knowing I have conquered one of my many goals throughout my life. Last year it was getting my license and this year it is graduating college with beyond average grades. Going from one major goal to another makes me more aware of what I am capable of doing and how well I can do it.
I have had many goals throughout my lifetime and I find that each one may be harder to get, however, I never give up and always am sure I try my best to succeed in everything I attempt at. One of the best feelings in the world was sitting in that drivers seat of the driving school car and hearing the instructor say, “congratulations, Jill”.
By taking this one simple event and turning it into a major goal in life is how I can end up achieving even the biggest events in my life. I love the overall results I get from going after something I know is difficult and knowing I completed it. Being an independent person most of the time allows me to do things on my own and knowing that I can be on my own without the help of others drives me more towards reaching success.
Not only has my license been the turning point in my life but it also let me realize how hard work pays off in the end and to never give up in your dreams. I know that not everyone may have their dream of getting their license but it was one of my many. I plan to conquer each and everyone of my goals i have set for myself one step at a time.
I see someone who is proud of an important accomplishment.
ReplyDeleteI would like to learn more about what having a license means to you, and what it will allow you to do. Reflect more on this accomplishment and the different ways its allowed you to get to work and to your athletic and social commitments. You could also mention the car that you drive, or some of the joys and frustrations associated with driving. You illustrate the stress of the test at the beginning. Let us see the reward of you in a car cruising and reaping the rewards.
I see an individual who is able to realize that patience and goal-setting is necessary in reaching their dreams.
ReplyDeleteI would like to see more imagery and detail that illustrates the "freedom" you feel when driving.
I feel that more description which illustrated the process of getting your license and the driving test would show how dedicated you were when you faced those challenges.
Overall, the essay was organized and depicted the change the author felt before and after she received her license.